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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Jersey goes to Miami. Oh no, garbage in heat! I'll send you some Febreze. You'll need it.

The cast of Jersey Shore: Miami (they do know they can't move the Jersey Shore to Miami right) are reportedly getting 30,000$ an episode. So instead of telling your children to go to school, study hard and get good jobs, just hand them a bottle of Jack, fluff up their hair and drop them off at your local watering whole. You'll be rich in no time!

I would've loved to be a fly on the wall during the salary negotiations with the cast.

Executive: So, Sitch, can I call you Sitch? Everything your doing is great, the hair, the accent, and not to mention those amazing muscles, but we were wondering if you could punch more women in the face? It just gets us more ratings!!!

The Situation: Yeah no problem. But I am gonna have to ask for more money though, I mean it's technically a crime, or is it? Maybe not in Jersey. I'll wiki it lada!

Executive: How about a thousand for every punch, but it has to be really defenseless looking ones, non- a them big muscly broads who can defend themselves.

The Situation: Above the eye, or like right in the middle.

Executive: Above would be preferable, but if you can get it in the middle, I'm sure blood will splatter right out and that'll probably get us an extra 50,000 viewers. So yeah right SMACK in the middle. Now Snookie, is there a way that you can just be drunk all the time?

Snookie: Yeah, I mean I'm frinkin' drunk right now. Look a can spin without my hair falling out (burb)

Executive: Great, so many girls look up to you, you have such a cult following! J-Wow can you get pregnant?

J-Wow: No problem! I hate getting my period.

Executive: Amazing!!! Alright everyone hands in, on three.

Everyone: 1-2-3 Lick It Before you Stick It!

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