Honey Halloween

EXT. OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR OF A HOUSE- HALLOWEEN NIGHT

A  seven year old child dressed as Honey Boo Boo (inappropriate outfit, spray tan, tiara: the works) rings the bell. Kathy is dressed up as a carrot.

KATHY
And what are you dressed up as, on this Halloween night?

SOPHIE
Honey Boo Boo Child (head bob)

KATHY
What?

SOPHIE
You know, “Honey Boo Boo Child” from TV. Da!

KATHY
Another one. Here’s some candy.

Kathy throws candy into the child’s bag, reluctantly.

KATHY (CONT’D)
Where’s your mother?

SOPHIE
Out pawning. Where’s your mother?

KATHY
Who’s idea was it to dress you up like this?

SOPHIE
Mama’s, she wants me to be just as pretty as my idol: Honey Boo Boo.

KATHY
Oh, Jesus. Okay, listen. What’s your real name?

SOPHIE
Honey Boo Boo Child.

KATHY
No, I know that’s who your dressed up as, but what’s your real name?

SOPHIE
Honey?

KATHY
Okay, never mind. What is being done to you is completely horrible, and "Honey Boo Boo Child" is not an idol. She is not someone you should be dressing up as for Halloween and your parents should know that! Now, would you like to live with us? We have books and low- fat yogurt.

SOPHIE
Okay, I am getting sick of lemonade.

KATHY
Okay.

SOPHIE
But what about mama?

KATHY (SHE LOOKS IN TO THE CAMERA)
Any adult who dresses their child up like “Honey Boo Boo” should be arrested or shot.

SOPHIE
Okay, I’ll live with you.

KATHY
Alright well come with me and meet the others.

SOPHIE
Others?

KATHY
Come along.

Kathy takes Sophie into the family room, revealing half of the neighborhood children sitting beside a pile of Honey Boo Boo garb, sipping hot chocolate covered in blankets.

KATHY (CONT’D)
You can change in the bathroom and there should be some PJ’s in there. Would you like whip, or no whip in your hot chocolate?

SOPHIE
Whip. Thanks lady.

Sophie goes into the bathroom, Kathy prepares the hot chocolate.

KATHY
One child at a time.

End.