Yesterday, I went to an audition for a student film on the Barnard campus. I went to the Equity Center earlier in the day and decided instead of going all the way home, I’d go straight to the audition. I got there early, (isn’t it weird that when you need to kill time the trains run perfectly, and when you’re late, they run slower than molasses). As I walked onto the actual campus area I was overcome with memories and emotions. My college years came flooding back. I asked a girl giving out candy apples for directions. She was very nice and told me where to go and she offered me a candy apple, see already I’m liking this place. Nice people, free things. What, am I in Canada? I went up and found the location of the audition. So, now I had about forty -five minutes to kill. I decided to wander though the quad.
The exhaustion of the day was beginning to set in. I had to teach in Tribeca in the morning, then I went to midtown to sign up for audition A, then uptown to teach on the West side, then back down to complete audition A, and now I was waiting around for audition B. So I decided to get a cup of coffee.
I went into the lounge area and ordered a pumpkin spice latte, which was fairly overpriced. I sat down and just began to watch the people. I saw this optimism that I haven’t seen in a long time. When you’re in school, your mind is engaged, your focus is better and you are encouraged to pursue your dreams.
Don’t get me wrong I love my life and all the challenges that come with it, but there are times that the uphill marathon of adulthood seems overwhelming. As I sat there and watched these beautiful students talk about the difference between egos and ids, I felt a moment of pure joy and hope.
My journey into collegdom reminded me that I want to make a difference. I want to affect people. I want to go to a job and love it. I want to remember, that I took classes on Greek mythology, clowning, statistics and biology . When school is over, the bills kick in, the clock starts ticking and the panic ensues. Somehow, these untouched virgin faces will slowly push forward into the worried furrow of middle age.
I understand that being a student and working are totally different and many people find great joy in their careers, even if it’s different that what they initially thought they were going to be doing. However, more often then not the idealism fades, and people don’t realize their ultimate goals.
I remembered my idealistic self. I realized that despite having to deal with the daily pressures of life, there is still time and space every once in a while to chug a beer, fail a test or kiss your crush when no one’s looking.