Pet Shop

NT. A PET STORE

Wyatt, middle-aged, is behind the counter. He is creepy. A Siamese cat sits next to him. 

WYATT
That will be $33.33

CANDACE
For cat litter.

WYATT
Yup.

CANDACE
Why is it so expensive?

WYATT
Ummm, I don’t know......let me check the price for you.

CANDACE
Okay, cause that just seems to be a bit much.

WYATT
No problem.

CANDACE
Great.

Wyatt goes into the back and returns.

WYATT
Unfortunately, I did ring that up incorrectly. The actual price is $25.42.

CANDACE
Okay, that sounds better.

WYATT
So, let me just change that here on my machine. I just need your credit card.

CANDACE
Okay, here ya go.

Wyatt swipes the card through the register.

WYATT
Umm. Oh No. Yikes. I’m sorry ma'am, but I accidentally charged you for two jugs of cat litter instead of one.

CANDACE
Okay, well can you just void one of the jugs.

WYATT
Okay, we didn’t really go over this in training, but yeah, I guess I can figure it out.

Wyatt looks terrified.

CANDACE
Okay.

WYATT
So what  I can do is this: if you give me $7.91, I will add that to the total of the first purchase which will calibrate the machine and then it can be voided and we can start the transaction again.

CANDACE
Umm,, I don’t think that’s right cause you have now charged my credit card twice, and now your asking me to give you more cash. Shouldn’t you be giving me money back?

WYATT
No, I don’t think so. Please give me the money so we can void it and allow the system to reboot. If you don’t, it will shut down, and we will be here for hours.

The cat hisses at her.

CANDACE (RELUCTANTLY)
Fine!

She takes out the cash and slams it on the counter.

WYATT
Okay, thank you!

CANDACE
Could we just hurry this along? I don’t have all day.

WYATT
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, I just subtracted this instead of added it.

CANDACE
Urrrrhhhhh!

WYATT
It’s okay, do you have foreign currency, because if you did we could use the exchange rate to over-ride the system, which would cancel out the whole transaction?

CANDACE
This is ridiculous, I’m leaving!

WYATT
Okay, but before you go do you want to check out our pet Halloween costumes, there’s some great “Honey Boo Boo” ones.

CANDACE
Urgghhh.

Candace leaves, Wyatt watches as he pets the cat.

WYATT
Freak.

End.