Saturday, August 31, 2013
No Words for New Words
A group of tired, old executives are sitting in a conference room.
Okay folks, we need to appeal to a younger demographic here at Smith and Mackenzie. So today we are gonna explore some new words to expand our vocabularies. As you may or may not know the words “selfie” and “twerk” were added into the dictionary this week, so let’s dive right in shall we?
Everyone looks very uncomfortable.
Do we have to do this?
I hate youth culture.
They really piss my ass.
Okay, everyone take out your i-phones, come on, take them out. Now, selfie what does it mean?
Is it a kind of fish?
I heard my son saying something like: “hey mom, look at my selfie”, but I thought he was just talking about his penis.
Isn’t it when you take a picture of yourself by yourself.
Bingo, and the prize goes to Todd. Yes, that is a selfie, but enough chit chat. The only way to really learn how to use these words is to try them in action. Now take your phones and selfie time! And don’t forget about duck face it makes you look about ten times younger and about forty pounds lighter! And GO!
Duck Face? Is that a type of sushi?
Todd, Sally and Bob group awkwardly and start taking pictures of themselves. They don’t really get it.
That’s it! Gotta love Duck Face. Now work, eh, eh and work, eh, and work!
Bob photobombs a couple of selfies, defeating the purpose of teaching his staff about selfies.
Okay people the next one is twerk. Anyone know what it means?
I think my doctor said it's like a fractured neck issue.
Isn’t that term a little racists?
No, No Twerking is: *to dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance.
Why do we have to know about this? It seems inappropriate for a work place.
I know these words are a little crazy but we have to evolve and adapt. The younger generations are obsessed with themselves, pictures and sex. Todd, do you want to close the Fruit Roll Up account?
Then get up there and TWERK!!!! Rrrrr!
Todd begins to “Jersey Turn Pike” Patty. Patty is flustered.
There ya go, somebody’s been watching Jersey Shore! Yeah, twerk, twerk. That’s it. Now everyone!
George joins in with Patty and Todd by grinding up on them.
Oh George! Did you shart again?
He actually did.
There ya go! Awesome, we are learning!
Susan, Todd and George are speechless.
* ACTUAL DEFINITION OF TWERK FROM WIKIPEDIA. TWERK AND SELFIE ARE STILL AUTO-CORRECTING IN FINAL DRAFT AND WORD, HENCE, IN MY BOOK MAKING THEM NON EXISTENT WORDS.
Posted by Katie Repman email@example.com at 7:06 AM