Saving Private Teenager

INT. A CAR

DAD
So you got in pretty late last night?

TEENAGER
Yeah, we saw “Saving Private Ryan”, it’s a long one.

DAD
Yeah, I think you got in about two. You look a little tired. You okay?

TEENAGER
(holding back vomit)
Yeah!

DAD
So what did you think of the movie?

TEENAGER
It was good.

DAD
I mean really?

TEENAGER
It was really, really good.

DAD
Didn’t you just love how the cinematography was used as a metaphor for the internal crisis for the character?

The Dad drives over a speed bump.

TEENAGER
Ugghh, yeah....... the metaphor.

DAD
Which scene do you think most exemplified the metaphor?

TEENAGER
When Tom Hanks was shooting someone?

DAD
Oh you mean the opening fifteen minute sequence when they stormed Normandy?

The Dad hits the breaks.

DAD (CONT’D)
Sorry, that squirrel came out of no where.

The teenager cracks a window.

DAD (CONT’D)
What do you think was Speilberg’s over-arching point of view with the way he decided to actually shoot the film, specifically the long extended war scenes?

TEENAGER
It was cool.

DAD
It was more than cool, it was ground breaking. What was your favorite scene or character?

TEENAGER
Matt Damon.

DAD
Yeah, he was good, but he wasn’t really in the film that much, only really at the end.

TEENAGER
Right.

DAD
I thought the movie really belonged to Hanks, Sizemore and Burns.

TEENAGER
Right.

 Dad makes a big U-turn.

DAD
Sorry, I forgot we needed milk. What war were they fighting?

TEENAGER
Vietnam?

DAD 
No.

The Dad slams on the breaks, the teenager opens the door and throws up.

TEENAGER
I didn’t see the movie.

DAD
Really? No? It’s okay. We can go see it now. You’re grounded, but we can see it now.

TEENAGER
Okay.

End.