COOKIES AND PILLOWS
By Katie Repman

INT. A COFFEE SHOP. SOMEWHERE UPTOWN- NIGHT
Braxton and Susie are working and talking.

BRAXTON
Do you know why they call them
pillows.
(Braxton points to the
huge cookies in the
display case.)
The name says Chocolate Chip
Pillows, why don’t they just call
them Chocolate Chip Cookies.

SUSIE
I think their using irony to create
a hyperbolic comparison between
pillows and cookies.
(Susie rings up a
costumer, completely
devoid of emotion.)
The cookies are so big they look
like they could also be used as
pillows. So the name Chocolate Chip
Cookie is a complete and utter lie.

BRAXTON
Oh yeah I guess.
SUSIE
I mean a lot of things in life are
not as they appear. For example
sugar free anything isn’t ever
really sugar free. There is
something that makes it sweet. I‘m
not entirely sure of what it is,
but it has to be something and I’m
sure it’s not very good for you.
Lie, lie, lie!

BRAXTON
Yeah like when they say something
is fat free but really it’s just a
high caloric science experiment.

SUSIE
Yeah, exactly. I mean so much of
what is said is not really what is
said.

BRAXTON
What did you say? Sorry, I’m
totally listening
Braxton begins to make a Capp Frappe for a customer. Susie
tries to begin to cash out.

SUSIE
I mean the whole structure of
small, medium and large keeps me up
at night.

BRAXTON
It does?
SUSIE
Yeah, I mean a small, once you add
the ice, really become like an
eight ounce drink which in reality
is like drinking the last drops of
milk at the bottom the carton after
everyone has had breakfast.

BRAXTON
I didn’t actually have breakfast
today.
(He rubs his stomach)

SUSIE
But then on the other spectrum a
large is like so, so, so big that
after devouring any kind of liquid
being contained in it, even if it’s
just water, you feel so bloated
that your picking out baby names.
So yeah, haven’t really gotten a
lot of sleep since I started
working here.

BRAXTON
Well maybe you should just try to
leave work at work, it really isn’t
a big deal.

SUSIE
Big deal, of course it’s a big
deal. The very foundation of what
this country is based on “TRUTH”,
is completely in jeopardy every
time we come here, put on our
hates, and pretend that a pillow is
a pillow, sugar free is
really sugar free and small,
medium and large are really
small, medium and large. Orson, I’m
gonna need to take my mandatory
ten!

BRAXTON
You know, I wasn’t gonna mention
this earlier but I do have some
weed in my bag, if you want some.
It might relax you. You seem really
stressed.

SUSIE
I’m just trying to make it America,
one lie at a time.