Wednesday, September 14, 2011
COOKIES AND PILLOWS
By Katie Repman
INT. A COFFEE SHOP. SOMEWHERE UPTOWN- NIGHT
Braxton and Susie are working and talking.
Do you know why they call them
(Braxton points to the
huge cookies in the
The name says Chocolate Chip
Pillows, why don’t they just call
them Chocolate Chip Cookies.
I think their using irony to create
a hyperbolic comparison between
pillows and cookies.
(Susie rings up a
devoid of emotion.)
The cookies are so big they look
like they could also be used as
pillows. So the name Chocolate Chip
Cookie is a complete and utter lie.
Oh yeah I guess.
I mean a lot of things in life are
not as they appear. For example
sugar free anything isn’t ever
really sugar free. There is
something that makes it sweet. I‘m
not entirely sure of what it is,
but it has to be something and I’m
sure it’s not very good for you.
Lie, lie, lie!
Yeah like when they say something
is fat free but really it’s just a
high caloric science experiment.
Yeah, exactly. I mean so much of
what is said is not really what is
What did you say? Sorry, I’m
Braxton begins to make a Capp Frappe for a customer. Susie
tries to begin to cash out.
I mean the whole structure of
small, medium and large keeps me up
Yeah, I mean a small, once you add
the ice, really become like an
eight ounce drink which in reality
is like drinking the last drops of
milk at the bottom the carton after
everyone has had breakfast.
I didn’t actually have breakfast
(He rubs his stomach)
But then on the other spectrum a
large is like so, so, so big that
after devouring any kind of liquid
being contained in it, even if it’s
just water, you feel so bloated
that your picking out baby names.
So yeah, haven’t really gotten a
lot of sleep since I started
Well maybe you should just try to
leave work at work, it really isn’t
a big deal.
Big deal, of course it’s a big
deal. The very foundation of what
this country is based on “TRUTH”,
is completely in jeopardy every
time we come here, put on our
hates, and pretend that a pillow is
a pillow, sugar free is
really sugar free and small,
medium and large are really
small, medium and large. Orson, I’m
gonna need to take my mandatory
You know, I wasn’t gonna mention
this earlier but I do have some
weed in my bag, if you want some.
It might relax you. You seem really
I’m just trying to make it America,
one lie at a time.
Posted by Katie Repman email@example.com at 6:11 AM