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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Halloween Reality Check


INT. A SUBURBAN HOME IN CONNECTICUT- ALL HALLOWS EVE- DUSK.
Susie (five) is cutting out pictures of Michele Bachmann,
eating a corn dog and making a collage.

MOTHER
Susie, what do you want to be for
Halloween?

SUSIE
Disillusionment.

MOTHER
Ughhh? What?

SUSIE
Disillusionment.

MOTHER
Don’t you want to be a bunny?

SUSIE
No, I want to represent the rising
lack of truth in our society that
has transpired because of corrupt
politicians and a dysfunctional
system that will never change.

MOTHER
But, I bought you the ears and this
little sparkly nose at Party City.

SUSIE
Mother, I am five, what do you take
me for an idiot? How can I dress up
like a bunny when there are people
dying in the world.

MOTHER
I just thought it might be fun.
Well if you aren’t gonna dress up
then at least get ready to go trickor-
treating.

SUSIE
Mother, walking around aimlessly
outside at night, begging people
for high sugar, diabetic,
infectious morsels is not my idea
of a good time.
(MORE)
Now, I’m going to sit here in my
costume and help inform every fool
who comes to the door just exactly
how little their government is
actually doing for them.

MOTHER
Would you like to roast pumpkin
seeds with me?

SUSIE
What I would like, is universal
health care and legalized gay
marriage, not pumpkin seeds!

MOTHER
I just though it would be nice.

SUSIE
What would be nice is if you could
understand for once what I have
spent my entire life working
towards!

MOTHER
You’re five.

SUSIE
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
!!!!!!

End.

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