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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Ryan Gosling talks with his agent!


RYAN GOSLING TALKS WITH HIS AGENT

EXT. THE BOARDWALK IN MALIBU.
Ryan Gosling and his agent Bob are walking the boardwalk
eating cotton candy.

RYAN
Bob, what’s going on man?
(he is very intense, like
a close up is happening
but he is the only one
who is aware of it)

BOB
So Ryan, we have had a few
complaints about the way that you
have been performing lately from
the studio head.

RYAN
What you talking about?
He eats a piece of cotton candy like a ruthless killer.

BOB
Well, you’re from Canada, right?

RYAN
What’s it to you?

BOB
Well, it seems like recently most
of your characters sound like they
are from Bed-Sty, Brooklyn, and I’m
not really sure what these vocal
choices are about, and I think they
work in certain circumstances but
not all the time.

RYAN
I ain’t no punk!

BOB
No, I didn’t say you were a punk, I
am just not sure where these
choices are coming from and I think
that ultimately it could really
effect your career.

RYAN
You just don’t know, you just don’t
know the struggle that I’s had to
do to get to the top.

BOB
What struggle? You came from an
affluent Canadian suburban family.
Ryan comes right up to Bob’s face as if he is gonna punch him

RYAN
Don’t youse ever talk abut my
FAMILY!

BOB
No Ryan, that’s not what I am
saying, I was just simply pointing
out the irony in the situation. I
love your parents.

RYAN
Alright, this is want’s a gonna
happena. You’re gonna walk away,
and I am not gonna here from you
again. Do youse understand?

BOB
But, I’m your agent, are you firing
me?

RYAN
Fire this!
He takes the cotton candy and rubs in all over Bob’s face

RYAN (CONT’D)
The next time youse want to come up
into my face and tell me how to
live my life you are not only gonna
have me on your ass, but youse is
gonna have the entire federation on
youse ass.

BOB
What federation

RYAN
What federation, youse knows what
federation. And when your sleeping,
and when your children are
sleeping, I’m gonna come at you
like you ain’t never seen before.
Booo!!!!

BOB
You wouldn’t hurt my kids would
you?

RYAN
HAhhhhhaahhahahahahahahahah!

Ryan takes out a knife from his back pocket and starts
picking at his fingers with it.

RYAN (CONT’D)
Don’t you ever mess with me son.
Ryan’s phone rings.

RYAN (CONT’D)
Hello. Oh hi mom. Yeah I got the
socks and the maple cookies, oh but
next time can you put a little bit
more syrup in them. OK I love you
mom, I will be home at Christmas,
and I was thinking we could sing
the carols at the orphanage again
this year.

Bob looks confused.

End.

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