American Border Patrol

EXT. NIGHT

A family in a purple mini-van pull up to the American border. The officer looks like Bane, but instead of a face mask he has a tracheal tube, which alters his voice. He is smoking. As the mini-van pulls up, the smoke from the cigarette reflects off the night lights, creating a very eerie effect.

DAD
Hi, there.

Smokes comes out of the booth.

DAD (CONT’D)
We are headed to New York.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
Gotham, you say?

DAD
Yeah, just heading down with the fam.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
Let the games begin!

DAD
What? We just want to cross into America.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
Identify yourself to the world.

DAD
I’m Darren McConagle, and this is my wife, my daughter, her husband and my mother.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
The shadows betray you, because they belong to me!

DAUGHTER
What?...... freak.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
Peace has cost you your strength! Victory has defeated you.

MOM
Okay, this is ridiculous. Can we speak to your manager. I can barely see you. Why is it so dark?

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, moulded by it.

GRANDMOTHER 
Oh for God’s sake.

HUSBAND
I’m American, if that helps.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
And you think this gives you power over me?

HUSBAND
No, I just thought, I least I could go back to the country I was born in, since I am an American citizen.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
SILENCE!!!!

MOM
Who are you?

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
I’m Gotham’s reckoning.

DAUGHTER
Okay, someone has watched too many movies.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
You mock me, just wait till I mock you.

HUSBAND
This is awesome.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER PATROLLER
Now, in order for me to grant you access to Gotham’s border I will need you to leave the car and walk across this frozen layer of ice.

DAD
What?

Bane points into the distance. We see a family walking across the ice into America. The teenager falls into the ice.

BANE/AMERICAN BORDER OFFICER
When I tell you and only when I tell you, you will abandon your car and traverse into the beyond, if you survive, you have won, if you don’t, we all win....

Bane chuckles to himself.

DAUGHTER
What? That doesn’t even make sense.

MOM
Let’s just do it, I have tickets for Wicked tomorrow night.

DAD
Fine.

The family gets out and they begin to walk across the ice. Bruce, Bane’s boss enters.

BRUCE
God dammit Tom, what are you doing? Are you making people walk across the ice again, you know they can get us on manslaughter for that. As much as I agree with making people suffer to get into the greatest country in the world, this is a bit overkill don’t you think?

Bane stops smoking, loosens the trache tube and talks in his normal voice. Which sounds like Rick Moranis.

TOM
(silently) This is all I have.

BRUCE
I know Tom, but one day the higher ups are gonna find out about this and we are all gonna get fired or go to prison.

BRUCE (CONT’D)
I’m sorry.

TOM
It’s okay. I’m gonna watch "Inception" in the break room. Wanna join.

Tom takes out a top and spins it on the table.

Fade out on the top spinning.

End.