Are you a baby?

INT. A TRENDY COFFEE SHOP IN A TRENDY PART OF BROOKLYN

Two sixty year old hipsters, Sally and Susan, enter. They see a small infant in a pram. They stop dead in their tracks.

SUSAN
OMG.  It’s a baby!

SALLY
I know it’s a baby, can you believe it.

Kim, a normal person, is overhearing their conversation. Well, not actually overhearing, more like being forced to listen because of the decibel level of Sally and Susan.

SUSAN
It’s a baby.

SALLY
A baby. Amazing.

They approach the baby, talking in the most annoying baby voices you can imagine.

SUSAN
You’re a baby.

SALLY
You’re a baby!

The baby, George, looks at them with big eyes, he’s innocent and sweet and does not understand why these freaks are talking to him. Susan and Sally keep talking ,getting louder and more high pitched!

SUSAN
Do you know you're a baby?

SALLY
Do you know you're a baby?

The baby has no idea. He’s still trying to find out where his toes are.

SUSAN
Are you a baby?

SALLY
Are you a baby?

This line of questioning, (whether or not the baby is in fact a baby) continues for about five more minutes. Kim is fed and turns around.

KIM
He’s a baby! He’s obliviously a baby, I don’t understand why you are asking an infant questions. He can’t talk back to you, he can’t even sit up, what do you expect him to say? Have you ever heard an infant talk back to anyone? And do you even know this child? Just get your coffee and be on your way. Oh, and by the way, oversized glasses went out like a year ago.

Kim leaves the coffee shop, puts on her sunglasses.

KIM (CONT’D)
I hate my life.

End.