Employment Games

INT. AN OFFICE IN MIDTOWN

Katnips Evercleen sits in the office waiting to interview for a new job. There are twelve other people interviewing. They all look sick, hungry and tired.

KATDIPS
This place is really intense.

PEEDAD
Yeah. Hey, aren’t you from the south district. I only know that ‘cause I think we went to elementary school together and it was divided by districts.

KATDIPS
Yeah, I’m actually not really here for me, my sister really needs a job right now and so I’m just scouting out some places for her.

PEEDAD
Oh yeah, I remember her, Prymro, right?

KATDIPS
Yeah.

A lady, with green hair and blue eyeshadow walks in.

EFFEL DINKET
Hi everyone, welcome. My name is Effel Dinket, and welcome to the 2012 Employment Games.

Leave your personal belongings and come with me.

KATDIPS
What? What are the Employment Games.

PEEDAD
I don’t know.....but I have heard rumors.

Peedad pulls Katdips aside.

PEEDAD (CONT’D)
I guess the economy is so horrible right now, that people are literally fighting to death for jobs.

KATDIPS
What.... that’s insane. But I guess I have to pay rent.... bills,
student loans, groceries, cat food, clothes....entertainment,.....wine..........okay.....I can do this.

EFFEL DINKET
Enter.

Katdips and Peedad enter the boardroom, it’s oval shaped. The possible employees are standing around the room. In the middle of the room there is a pen, a paper clip, a piece of paper, a stapler, a coffee cup, a rubber band and a bobble head.

EFFEL DINKET (CONT’D)
Okay you all know the drill, the last one alive, wins a mundane, boring office job, the most you’ll be doing is answering phones. Welcome, and happy Employment Games. May the odds be ever in your favor.

The fire alarm goes off and the games begin.

KATDIPS
Don’t go for the weapons.

PEEDAD
What?

KATDIPS
We’ll get them later, let’s just hangout by the photocopier until things have calmed down.

PEEDAD
Fine. But, I’m a least taking the paper clip and the rubber band. You’re a good shooter and we might need it later.

Katnips and Peedad, stay hidden until lunch. At this point six potential employees are dead. The small one got a pen to the neck, the twins drank the poison coffee and the brother and sister team got paper cuts to the face.

KATDIPS
Okay, there are only six of us left, we just need to get them out and then we can win.

The four remaining possible employees: Frick, Frack, Tick and Tack approach Katdips and Peedad.

FRICK
Still alive...... not for long.

KATDIPS
Shut up! You don’t really want this job. You don’t really want to sit at a  desk for eight hours a day with minimal daylight, a half hour lunch break, and boring co-workers. I DO!!!

TICK
You don’t deserve this office job.

Unknowingly to Frick, Frack, Tick and Tack the office flying Roache-trackers start to swarm them.

FRICK
What?

TICK
ROACHE-TRACKERS.......RUN!!!!

Katdips and Peedad run back to the conference room. Frick and Frack are dead.

PEEDAD
Let’s just stay here until they come to us and then you can take them out.

Tick and Tack also enter the board room. Kadnips gets her “bow” ready and pulls back the rubber band on the paper clip. She gets Tick in the heart. Tack gets away. They run after him.

TICK
Ha ha ha.

As he is gloating he gets distracted by someone’s Facebook update and starts looking at their profile, which technically disqualifies him. Katdips and Peedad are the last ones alive.

PEEDAD
We did it!

KATDIPS (SADLY)
Only one can win.

Effel enters.

EFFEL DINKET
Well done. Now you must kill each other.... Remember, benefits after three month and bow tie Fridays.

KATDIPS (WHISPERING)
Meet me in the kitchen

PEEDAD
What?

They are in the kitchen. Katdips grabs an old, moldy, blueberry muffin, that upon eating could kill you.

KATDIPS
Eat this.

They are about to eat the muffin together.

EFFEL DINKET
Noooooooo......STOP!!!!


........TO BE CONTINUED.