Patty Priss Pot goes to Boot Camp

Patty appears in an open field, wearing a lovely blue dress, pearls and heels. She sees a group of women doing one armed push ups, and a mean man yelling at them.

Patty
Hellooooo!!!  Is this the physical training camp?

Stone, the teacher, looks at Patty with distain.

Stone
If you mean boot camp smart ass, this is it!

Patty
Oh good, I need to lose a few pounds before the cotillion.

Stone
Well this is Boot Camp and I don't know what cotillion means but I do know that the flab is not gonna get rid of itself. Now get down and give me twenty.

Patty
On this patch of grass? Oh, no! I'm wearing Chanel.

Stone
Chanel my foot, now get down and give me forty and stop talking like that. Now take this and go change.

Stone throws Patty an orange jumpsuit.

Patty
But I thought we were just doing simple exercises?

Stone
I don't what your angle is, but you're really starting to piss me off, now go change.

Patty
Well you don't have to get in a huff.

Five minutes later Patty comes back wearing the jumpsuit. Still, however wearing the pearls and heels.

Patty
This does nothing for my figure.

Stone:
Okay Miss Princess, now I want you to give me twenty burpees.

Patty
Please don't blaspheme, my god. I will just do some finger stretching, we can't have fat figers can we?

Stone
What?

Patty is opening and closing her hands.

Patty: 1, 2, 3.... hand exercises are so grueling!

Stone
Okay, that's it, you're doing the obstacle course!!!!

Patty
Okay no problem, as long I can whistle while I work.

Stone
Whatever, just do it, this isn't a ride at Disneyland, this is boot camp!

Patty gracefully tackles the obstacle course, barely breaking a sweat, whistling the tune from Mary Poppins's: "A Spoon Full of Sugar".

Stone comes from behind her.

Stone
Faster princess.

Patty starts to actually sing, ditches the obstacle course and begins to dance.

Patty
"Makes the medicine go down......

Stone
I ain't playing, queen bee. Stop singing. Stone is gonna get really mad!

Patty
Just try it, it always puts a smile on my face. "Just a spoon full of sugar"........

Stone
Stone doesn't like this, Stone is getting REALLY ANGRY.

Patty
Chim chimney, chim chim chimney, chim, chim churie......

Stone rips his shirt "Hulk" style.

Patty
I guess it's true what they say, working out really is good for the soul. Thanks for a great workout. Now spit spot. Toodles!

Stone: Rrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

End.